I can’t wait! I can’t wait until he learns to walk. I can’t wait until school starts. I can’t wait until I lose the last five pounds. Oh the thousands of “I can’t wait” thoughts I've had in my life.

The prompting of the I can’t wait has changed dramatically as the seasons speed by. As a child, there was an inner (and many times outward) jumping up and down in anticipation. Enthusiasm and anticipation were heightened by experiencing new things on a very regular basis.

As the years went by, the promptings shifted from child-like hopefulness and took on a more serious tone. I can’t wait until I move out and do what I want. I can’t wait until I have more money to buy what I want. I can’t wait, I can’t wait, I can’t wait.

I blinked and 20 years went by. Then another 20. The transition was subtle. Looking ahead in anticipation was still a part of the inner dialogue, but looking back moved into first place. I wonder why? I wonder if. I wish I hadn’t; I wish I had. I could have, I should have, l might have…

God created time for his creation. He is eternal. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever. (Hebrews 13:8) Our life here has a beginning and an end. We have seconds, minutes, hours and days numbered. God knows the number of my days. I do not.

How many of my days have been squandered by looking ahead and looking back? Not that anticipation of what lies ahead is a bad thing or that looking back in reflection is wrong. Both are important in thoughtful living.

It is when we get stuck in one or the other that creates a pattern of distorted thinking. Regret and fear are powerful and paralyzing. Powerful teachers if I’m willing to learn. Powerful warnings to protect me if I listen. Paralyzing if past failures are allowed to control my decisions. Paralyzing if my fear of the unknown and possible failure keeps me stuck.

Looking forward in anticipation for what we have planned is a good thing. Not repeating the same mistakes is wisdom. I want to abide in Christ now. When I do, I’m resting in His now for me. I’m looking at others through the eyes of Love and serving the ones I am with now.

There are times in our lives to joyfully anticipate what is coming. We get to spend Christmas with our grandchildren for the first time! “I can’t wait”! We have taken time to be with and care for our aging parents. We will not have regrets looking back.

I have not arrived. I still have a tendency to both race ahead and shrink back. I’m learning to listen to and abide in Christ. As I do, I don’t miss out on His now for me.

My prayer for you and I is that we would make the most of His now for us. 

Merry Christmas 🎄