In the fall of 2007 we received a piece of snail mail that prompted my wife to ask our son if he was gay. His affirmative response was not what we wanted to hear. I was heart broken and didn’t understand, but let him know that I still loved him. My wife wanted to let others know so that they could pray, but I only let her tell a few friends that were not in the area. It took a long time for me to go through my grieving process and I can’t say that I’m completely finished with it yet! The times of sadness have been fewer and God has been faithful in comforting me. By God’s grace, my wife and I have been able to support one another without pointing the finger of blame. We are in agreement that we love our son unconditionally, but we do not approve of his decision to be in a relationship.
Jennifer & I have started Unconditional Ministries to offer comfort and emotional support to the parents of LGBT children, the LGBT community, and the church concerning broken sexual identity issues.
Although Gordie and I were both overwhelmed with grief and sadness, we do not process the same emotionally. I processed verbally, talking about the many and confusing emotions I was experiencing. Gordie tended to internalize and not focus on or discuss any painful emotions he had. Having been married for many years, Gordie knew that for me to supress those thoughts and feelings would result in an emotional meltdown that neither one of us needed. So I talked and cried while Gordie listened. Occasionally he would express some of his thoughts and feelings, but for the most part I was the “talker”. In the summer of 2008, I had an overwhelming sense that the Lord was going to have me talk about our experience. Publically. I admit, even the thought of speaking about anything LGBT terrified me. At one point, I asked Gordie what he thought about this and his response was, “Better you than me.” We both laughed at the time and, for a while, it seemed as if it was a passing thought. In September 2010, Gordie’s job was eliminated. We had anticipated this outcome, however, this was a unique season on many levels. We spent a lot of time in prayer, needing to know that ministry in this area was what He had for us. God prepared us for months, communicating with various individuals to prepare us for starting this ministry. In July of 2012, Unconditional Ministries was born.
The need for love, support and encouragement is great. When Christ followers are struggling with sexual identity, Unconditional is a safe place to be heard and to be allowed to process. When parents or other family members are hurting with and for someone they love, we understand. We are here to listen, to pray with you and for you and provide a safe space to be heard. You are loved.
2 Corinthians 1:3-4